Gym Talk #1

Gym talk:
So, I had to rush in to get my 1, 2, 3’s in and saw that every beautiful person in my town was in the gym today.
I thought, “Well, this is distracting, but I’m glad.”
I was sure it was a beautiful person day when I overheard some women shading the way Gigi Hadid walks in runway shows.
They weren’t lying tho, she has an…we call anyone supermodels these days

One Quick Notice


So do not tell me how black men are in romantic settings when you are adamant about not dating black men.

I get stereotyping your own experiences, but do not sell it as fact.

Besides, I hear a ton on stories of white men shitting on you, kind of, like how you perceive black men to act, and yet, you keep going back for more not saying, “Well because of my past, I don’t date white men”. You never dated a black man, and yet, you are sure as sugar how they all act.

White men treating you like the black men you are avoiding. Moreover, you are not ashamed of yourself.

Baffling, for real, baffling.

Moreover, I use white men because I have been hearing a lot of “white is right speech” from people I thought that would know better, but here I am.


only “positive”


I do not get “positive vibes only” people, or folks who complain that things are “always so negative.”

You get what you seek out, boo. Did no one teach you about confirmation bias?


Right now, everyone is on their grown folk business on social media, and the way I see it. If you do not like the discussion, you can always go back and sit at the kids table, no one is forcing you in your booster seat.  You don’t have to be here.

It is interesting whom these positive vibes people have the tendency, to do whatever one else is doing. Which is point out the social issues that are detrimental to a group of people, regardless of ethnicity or sex, so it is negative when others do it, but when you post, the same exact article, what are you doing? Bring on the negativity that you’re calling for an end to? Or are you highlighting things that need to change? School me, I’m willing to learn.

The reasons we have all these issues, because as you call for only positive vibes, you’re also calling for deflection. Which is rife in our society today, we can’t get anywhere, because people like you don’t like the truth. It hurts too much for you. I get that, however, if that is the case. Why we homies then?

I do not want only positive vibes kind of people- I want the full range. I need my people to have a human sentiment to them, whether good or bad. It takes all kinds to make the world go round.

Right now, things are a mess, and I rather have an open wound that would heal correctly, than by doing it your way, which is ignoring the injury all together, because it’s sad.


(Iyana vanzant clap) Y’all listen….


I don’t get how some womenzzzz throw out there that I must be a lesbian because of my interactions with some guys. As if, it is an insult.


Oh, so let me get disrespected because that’s hawt out here in the streets. For you…for you…that’s hawt. But naw, it’s too cold for me.


On top of that, this girl is going to “advise” me to “tone it down”

“You don’t want a man being intimidated by you, do you Steph?”


(I hate when people call me Steph when speaking on some fuck shit)


(Inside chuckle, didn’t I tell you no one likes the perception of a “strong woman”, girl I am not strong, I just like what I like)


I was nice:


“Now look Sis, You advertise yourself like people do Lamps on Craigslist for Tinder or whatever, and you get fucked over so much, your clit is no longer with you, it left your body (in my Nene Leaks Voice). You are talking nonsense to me about how to get guys, and your clit is at home chillin, reading a book. So, Girl, what’s tea?”


Well, we are not speaking.




If I did not “change” in high school to get people interested in me, why would I change now that I am damn near 30?


To me, if you have to change yourself, or getting with someone in the hopes of changing them or vice versa. That’s a loss. A big one.

Shush It, please!


I did not know you could tell a woman’s sexual orientation by the amount she lifted.

…but then again, I learn new things every day in this wasteland

Listen, I really like guys: they look good and smell great

Hell, I have some guys on my timeline as “friends” only because I have that “well, one day…” kind of feel for them.

However, some of you guys really know how to ruin the gym experience.

You really do.

Like…seriously If It is not something lame, like marking women based on your insecurity. It is the hyped “LET ME SHOW YOU WHAT LITTLE I KNOW” proclamations.
Moreover, it is like. “Man, its hard being straight when I’m faced with this kind of nonsense”


I like men that let me be I without trying to change that based on what he likes. And that seems to be asking too much these days.


Why can’t you change into what I like and shut up and lift?

Rant two or so



I learned from an early age


That people love me when I am cracking jokes, giving them knowledge, or defending them. However, they hate it when I try to personalize our friendship. Meaning, I am not a friend, I am a character, looking to fill that stereotypical role as they see fit. As long as it’s not damaging to their own frail existence


I have seen “good friends” to throw me under the bus in order to save face for people they talk shit about. Then, turn around and get mad at me for not defending them when they are clearly in the wrong.  “It’s about being there for each other,” The person would yell, as they go on and on how we need to stick together

Like you were never there for me. Got it.


I have seen “homies” disregard my feelings, saying I’m starting “too much drama” yet, clap their hands, (YASS) and say “he deserved it” when another woman was trying to physically fight someone over something he said.

Someone said something to me that same night at a bonfire…but I guess it is different because I am not a person and I do not pillow princess my way through life.

It is it the hue variations, and the conditions that come with that that would make someone defend someone for trying to physically accost someone, while on the other hand, chastise another for looking for a friend to vent to.


Things and people are different, but why not just say, there are different levels to the respect that are had for different people.

Keep it to yourself

I find it odd that mostly men find a way to speak up on topics that have nothing to do with the topic I am talking about, primarily post about woman of color and some of the issues we face.

They are infecting my comment section with what they are compelled to talk to me about: Which is nothing.

“Bitch, you are not saying anything”.


I thought you people had girlfriends, women your dating, women that think you’re cool no matter what stupid shit you say and do, women you are lusting after, or Instagram models that never talk to you back, to tell these things.  Why come to me with your nonsense? Come on now!

I hate myself that I have to be nice about it, because knowing these people, their actually frail, as if they need ‘round the clock medical care’ frail. Like the kind that may kill you if your laugh too had at their shortcomings. These kinds of men give me that kind of tease.

They all look the same, without looking the same, if you catch my drift.

They either give you a “hey! It’s been rough over here for me, so I demand you take what response I give you”


“Let me fall flat on jokes (and personality) by completely veering off from what you are talking about to ask you about things that have NOTHING to do with the topic at hand. Because I can, and it’s safe because it requires no thinking, and it’s mainstream”

ORRRRR they give you lame hashtags, like #allpenisismatter, when talking about not falling for the okay dokie when it comes to men fetishizing your being.


Let me be real: I would be fine with it if I had a personal friendship with these people, but I do not. In addition, there is nothing more depressing, to me, than when, (what look like to me), a random person is to act as if we are friends outside of social media. Like what Mariah Carey said about Jennifer Lopez: “I don’t know her.”


Moreover, I do not. I do not know you like how Ms. Carey does not know Ms. Lopez. I know of you, a ‘like’ here and there does not equate to a long lasting friendship.  Like,


What they are really telling me is “Your thing isn’t important to me enough to actually put thought in what I’m going to say.  Therefore, here is some non-sense because if I actually do tell you what I think. Everyone is going to know the kind of person I am, and I have an image to protect and project. Plus, who cares what you think? I’m not attracted to you like that”


If it is “not like that, at all” Why do they not post their random bullshit on my wall? It would be easier if they kept their outward personal cries, lame jokes, and hashtags on a space that would call for it.

I do not understand why that is hard. Mostly when people post something, they want to illicit a response to what they post.


It’s a non-stop clown car driven by guys who would to be too “intimidated” to get to know me.  Not the person they see on social media.  Like, get the fuck out.

Just, Eww.

So, in my new #blessyourheart series


This white person felt compelled to give me a complete rundown of all the races/ethnicities he dated.

Then tell me he was “especially touched by this Nubian Queen” he dated

Like, your United Colors of Benetton: Vagina Edition, stories doesn’t make me say “OHH MY GOSH, YOU ARE SO OPEN, YOU CAN COME TO THE COOK OUT”

I was like that Mr. Krabs meme, looking around like “wait, where the fuck am I?”

My thoughts

What world does that make you think that is going to make me swoon?

Who are the idiots that have worked for? I want all their names and numbers

Well, you do not want to be a racist, but you showed yourself huh


Look, if you like someone. You like that person. You do not need to focus on what their skin color is like, or where they are from. Sure that is a conversation…no it is not…I lied.

It is just no one is looking for anything real and intrinsic when I hear things like this. What I hear is, ‘ You are a Fetish of mine, and I have had many fetishes from a lot of different places, but man, you are my find of overtly sexualized fetish.’

WHICH is a huge “run the other direction” for me


See, between whoever is reading this now, and me.  It’s hard enough to get…them, to see you as a person when it comes to everyday stuff, but they don’t see that. They see the skin color; all the stereotypes associated with it, and then proceed accordingly. It is gross and it is often.


It is like, at this point. You have to stop them and say, “well im actually a person, and this is creepy”

Because they are.

No Competition from Me

For the second time in my life. I was tried in a way that I just felt sorry for the girl. Moreover, made me think “Someone tell me what the fuck this girl is talking about?”

This time it was a text but:

“DID (lame ass guy name) say you were the (las time, it was “prettiest”, now it was “most beautiful”) girl in (the first time, it was California, this time it was San Jose)? That’s what he said to me.”

Again, I am left to think: “Why would that be important to you?”

I mean, I know why, we know why. Moreover, listen when I type this (hear it in my annoying ass voice too), Because I’m tired of some women trying me like this


I put that shit in all caps, so you would understand where im coming from. A point of frustration.

If I needed that kind of competition, I would of started young, very young, like in high school.

I would of tried in college,  but then I went to SF state, no you know, pointless.

Why would I need validation of my physical beauty by telling another woman some man validated my physical beauty? Does that not sound crazy to you?

I don’t want to compete with my friends, I have too many things and people to destroy, last thing I need is a friend I can’t trust.

Let us be real, I do not survive in those kind of friendships anyway. It is very clear now, right?

I do not understand why some women keep trying to play that game with me.  It is just not me. It can be you. If male attention is what you thirst for in life, then who am I to say its wrong? bbbuuutttt, you are not going to start telling me and acting like it is for my own benefit to care.  Because, you know, you are going to reach a dead end.


For me, let me put this way, and I hope it touches and agrees with your spirit: What is understood, needs no understanding. So for a woman to keep advertising what some guy said to her, when he said it, and what she said back. Means to me that you must either feed of that kind of energy, or you are dying to prove to me how cool and sexy you are. Both which is a fail.

Honestly, I care about one man’s validation: and he is in Portugal, still ignoring me, so all this other stuff is trivial at best.

I wish I would be out here competing for what a man told me to another woman, do you know how crazy that is? Britney Spears 2007 crazy. Let another woman come at me like, and I just my slap her with my backhand. Like, I really hate stuff like this.

I like to be me, and if I feel I can’t be myself around you. I stop hanging out, I just stop.