I Pretend

I  pretend I’m not sad

I laugh at funny things

I smile when I see something beautiful

I like to make people laugh

I enjoy those kinds of things

 

but when I’m alone

and go inside me

I descend into an unreal sadness

that takes me over

I can’t see me because I can’t stand me

unworthy of praise

intrusive thoughts about things that never happened rock me to sleep

and the sadness tucks me in real deep

.

As I make my breakfast

and leave my sadness in the far back of my head

I remind myself

another day for pretending

but I still enjoy things.

 

 

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