So, I am going to post this to anyone out there that might come across this and need it. I may be talking to an empty room. But I hope you can hear the echo from outside.
It’s hard to break personal, toxic ways of how you view yourself. At the end of the day, breaking brainwashing is a matter of perseverance and self-accountability. It’s admitting that way you use to damage yourself falsely rationalizing the trauma as “humbling yourself”, as you ripped yourself from lobe to vein. Everyone has a battle they are facing all by themselves with the enemy in the mirror. The winner has the spoil of narrating how you interact with your environment. The crown goes to the voice that is the loudest in your head. You are at the mercy of what every voice you choose because you can’t shake the noise.
You are worth more than your negative thoughts about yourself. The truth is, whether you believe it or not, you are loved, needed and desired beyond your wildest beliefs. Someone out there wants the best for you; even though they don’t show it and you don’t see it. There are always secret cheerleaders rooting for you like spies in the coldest of wars eagerly ready to pass along messages to their commanders.
It is not fair to yourself feeling and wandering in life no one is ever going to love or want you because of the things you used to do in order to survive your mental state at that moment in time. Hold yourself dearly, you are forgiven and loved. Embrace the thought you have compassion and empathy from others as little or as big as you make it. It could be a song that touches you, a friend you trust, or an activity you like to do. Know that you have an ability to touch others, even if you’re by yourself, is immense.
Change is not easy, nor will your outlook about yourself morph in a short amount of time. I will say it is worth it. Starting small can lead to bigger, brighter things will nurture your growth discovering different aspects of yourself. A great small way to start is to give yourself a short compliment. For example, “I feel happy”, “I feel the energy”, “I am loved”, and so on. You will be amazed how much it adds up in supporting a positive sense of self Giving yourself little compliments can lead into exercising your curiosity in trying new and exciting activities, like singing or learning about art. Doing, making, and learning new things can also lead into meeting positive people with new ideas you might enjoy exploring. New fascinating ideas made with budding friendships create ways to further mental and spiritual growth. It also a great way to make you smile.
I just want you to know that someone out there cares about you and to not give up on yourself, it’s hard not to feel like you’re not enough. but you are enough. Everyone is enough in their own unique way, and I want you to remember that you are the best person in the world that can do you. You’re a star.