Some women feel that men are the center of the universe and it’s only fitting that she leads us in teaching how she can help us better understand men. This woman works off of dangerous levels of androcentrism. What is that you might ask? Well, Androcentrism: [ (ancient Greek, ἀνήρ, “man, male”) is the practice, conscious or otherwise, of placing a masculine point of view at the center of one’s world view, culture, and history, thereby culturally marginalizing femininity. (Wikipedia.com)
Note: As this piece goes on, you will see that I use the word “pick-me”. A pick-me is a relaxed way of defining an androcentric woman.
Friends and Family
Although androcentrism is the distasteful byproduct of the societal pollution and restrictions it places on the ideas of gender, androcentrism is a dangerous way of basing how you’re to exist. Because it leaves pick-me is thinking they are always being disrespected by other women; therefore announcing a need to create a divide. It is elusive, yet an egregious way to cultivate an identity through external ‘stock’ and lastly, it falsely shows that being a martyr in one-sided relationships fail.
Androcentric women let down family members with their toxic perspective on expressed femininity. In this case, a teen may go to an androcentric woman—her mother, and tell her that a relative is inappropriate with her. Instead of the pick-me taking the necessary steps to make sure the teen is safe and protected. The woman gaslights the situation and dismisses the teen while name-calling and deflection. Leaving the teen to feel like they have no rights or consent to their body, and their mother cannot be the person to confide in. The sad part is; the androcentric woman continues to allow the abuser around their victim absolving them of no wrong doing with no hesitation.
Warning: The video link is extremely graphic, please exercise caution when viewing the link. The update to this story can be found here.
Identity-based on empty Ideals
Androcentrism is the manifestation of an empty, comparative identity carrying a vapid soul. Pick-me feels the need to constantly make announcements of the type of ‘hard to get’ kind of woman they are. These kinds of announcements could be empowering, but they show a lack of empowerment. Because it is never done on the pick me’s merit alone, it’s always at the source and expense of other women. On social media, for instance, the pick-me will post their picture and caption the photo: “Since I don’t look like these females dressed half naked, my picture won’t get as many likes (usually there is a sad face type of emoji that follow caption.) After a while, they garner what they wanted in the first place: attention. They wanted attention by using themselves as the moral standard of a fantastically virtuous person while bringing other women down based on shallow factors.
Ride or Die
Androcentric women tend to reside in one-sided relationships that absolve her partner from accountability, while she carries the emotional grunt. This is also known as a ‘ride or die chick’. A woman who stays in the relationship no matter what kind of foolishness the husband carries gets into, despite her proximity to the foolishness. Illustrated when a husband is caught with a mistress yet again. The wife channels all her energy and rage toward the mistress. Not the husband that told the mistress he is divorced. However, the woman does not meet the philandering husband with the same vitriol; instead, she takes him back while rationalizing his behavior, and his inability to control himself. Knowing that he lied about his marital status to the mistress, the woman still blames the mistress, stating the other woman should of know better. He is thankful and faithful or a time before he goes back to his secretive cheating ways. Thus, continuing the cycle.
Androcentrism ruins friendships and interpersonal relationships by the pick-me spendng time creating divides and schemes based on jealousy and envy from not getting the attention androcentric women desire from the people there looking to catch the eye of. However, this brand of thinking leaves the androcentric woman to ultimately face what she was trying to avoid: Being alone. No one wants to be around a person who is always judgemental and catty. The pats on the back from online men a pick-me will get for attacking other women for not being “classy”, ultimately gets the pick me nowhere. Most times, the pick me is one slip away from getting skewered by a better-evolved pick-me with a larger audience of men looking to point and laugh while using another woman as a springboard.
There is way to break the cycle of androcentric lifestyle. A more positive self dialogue and ideology would be a start. Reaching out local mental health professionals can help you sort through your thoughts and feelings that lead you to think you need to place other people over you. Your worth is not based on how desirable you are, but how comfortable you are in your own skin.