It’s Just Not For Me.

It is not that there is anything wrong with online dating; it is just not for me.  I tried it and it is exhausting. The way you have to present yourself on the app; the carried expectations of what people are and are not looking for, and finally “closing the deal”. It is just too much for me. I think it is great for people who are able to master the codes and conducts of today’s modern impression of human interaction, I mean, many people are meeting on dating apps these days. I just do not have a handle on meeting people that way.  I am behind on that time.

Setting up the profile is a terror in itself. Presentation is key. It only takes seven seconds to make a first impression–as fast as people “look and swipe” because of the algorithms involved—seven seconds can be a long time. One must use carefully crafted words and pictures in order to set precedent that the publically related, media friendly aspects of their personality align with what the seeker desires. Creativity in these profiles are as bland and mainstream as an advertising push for creativity left to the designation to be approve by a cold marketing committee. It seems that everyone is looking for “an adventure” or a “partner in crime” but the way taken to get to that adventure with your partner in crime is through the comfort of your own distance and palpability– provided you approve for your ingesting.

These days, it seems like the only time we are truly social is when we are using our devices to market ourselves that we are being social. If I was a social as I claimed to be I would go out and seek social situations. Online dating allowed me to cater to my anxiety and shyness when it comes to meeting people. I will say it and it was nice to be at home, chilling while watching my shows and looking at pictures of guys. Having a bevy to pick from while not having to go and get dressed up to strike out is fine and well until the expectations that seem to come with online dating shadow the fun of sorting through guys like people would sort through lamps on Amazon as if they are searching for a casual wash of nothing.

Overall, everyone expects some type of response for putting out their media friendly dating profiles, no matter how over processed and redundant it may seem. Some type of response must come from someone, somewhere. Although I have not met anyone in person from my own online journey, I still expected to get something out of my insipid profile. Of course, the kind of responses I got was garbage from time to time.  For example, the “friends with benefits” request. It is complete rubbish. In order, to be a “friend with benefit”, there would have to be some type of long-standing platonic relationship established mixed in with the torment of feeling and ‘that one time’. That does not come with meeting someone on a dating app with the implicit contract that ‘this is a casual sex relationship’. Expectations can be make more clear if the parameters of what re slated are respected.

Another interesting expectation is the one of pictures. Some will use online dating to satisfy their voyeuristic tendencies to piece their collection together; it is like scrapbooking. It is not about finding the right person, casual relationship, or date. It is about finding the right person to send the right kinds of pictures with the expectation of little or no reprise. This kind of people demand that you keep taking pictures of yourself, but never have a time or place where they can meet you. They couple the insult with a false promise of ‘another time’ with asking you to send more pictures of yourself. For me, these sorts were easy to dodge. Having a broken phone comes in handy when these varieties incessant nature waned on me heavily. To some, an image means more than a memory. I felt that I advertised myself with the expectation of meeting someone to take me somewhere to eat while I was dressed up. Nevertheless, it did not happen.

Like all good marketing campaigns, meeting and exceeding sales projections are a great measure to find out if the masterplan worked overall. With excited rumblings from heax analyst and summer youth seeming it would last forever. I took interest in studying bonds in better—mainstream terms of dating. Online is the craze that everyone around me was dancing to, so I decided to join in the dance Little did I know, I would not find it as exhilarating as it is over and understated by friends and serial daters alike. It was like this one long line of the same thing resulting in this never-ending search for something that may or may not be there. Meeting someone online is difficult for me because it felt too manufactured. It feels like you are going to a yet another kind of “work” The interview was in the response you have revived with your profile acting as a resume.  That is too constricting for me.

Despite my digital bust, there is no denying that online dating is never going to go away and it works. Every day, people are finding what they are looking for on dating applications and websites with little to no issues and complete fun, it’s all in the matter how you present yourself and how you ask for it. It is like an erotic candy land, flirty delights and treasures all at the matter of your fingertips. It is always nice to hear success stories of people who took a chance and went from a website to a loving relationship. I honestly believe it takes a certain kind of person to make swiping for sweeties spicy for them personally.  You have to link up with the right kind of person on the other side of the computer screen, with temperaments matching. It is the same as if you were to look for someone “offline”.  No one way to search for someone is better or worse. I just know I am not the type to online date. I have a better understanding for it now, but it is just not for me. It is nice to try something new. It was interesting to tip my hat into that ring.

 

 

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