Twenty Six: Listen

Hold

 

When you fuck up, people won’t let you forget. Or they will let you forget until you fuck up in their eyes. Then, they remind you of what a fucked up person you are.  They remind you by telling you all the things wrong you have done, and thing you thought was put past is not because they bring it up again. I do that a lot, so I know what it is like to be always holding on to something, it is nervous.  It makes me tired.

I am watching these two factions divide. It is not my friends, but I know them because they are my friends, good friends. Anyways, a person is invoked and so now they are breaking apart, and I am shocked at all the old things can be brought up to makes a person seem terrible. They were not a terrible person back then, but now that they are not friends, all these things are terrible.

I have been more and more scared of UsedCar. She talks like a used car sales representative. I was struck by it last year. I was listening to her talk just about what she wanted, and it was as if she was not trying to engage us, or make us laugh, but she was trying to sell us that shew as cool. It was as if she marketed herself. It is as if UsedCar is not a person, but she is a product.

I wonder why no one seems to notice how people talk. It is strange to say, “Did you just hear him say that?” the person I said to always says no., and it makes me look crazy. “You’re hearing things” I am poked fun of with that. But it’s not hearing things. It is crazy how some people talk to others. It is important to listen carefully to someone. Some people think they are being funny, when they are not. I have heard a lot of copying going on. As someone would start saying something, then the person would say it is stupid, but a week later, that “stupid saying” is used to make someone cooler.

Or someone is outright insulting someone and they smile and nod, they don’t hear what they are supposed to hear, they only like the fact that that person is talking to them.

Travel and Tourism is getting very interesting these days. It is like; you come for the learning stay for the experience in seeing people act like products.

Speaking of productions. A Chorus Line was amazing.  I did not announce I was going to see it. I have made attempts with some people to come to see it with me, but it seemed weird to them, the way they kept making excuses, , and I rather drive myself then other people at this moment. It was good. It was nice to see my friends show their talent. I have many talented friends. Even the few that I can’t stand, but do theater were good; it made me mad that these horrible people are also talented. Horrible diseases and talent are the only two things that do not discriminate. But I do. And i still think they’re assholes.  Talented assholes.

 

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