Seventeen: “I’m Seventeen”

For Nothing


You really have to hand it to expert attention seekers. I hand to people that can draw the focus away from the party and celebrating the week being over, to turning the attention to them by ending the party through their violence.. It seem like every other party we go to, someone has a gun. It seems that everywhere we go. There is trouble. What comes with the Hyphy is the naughty I suppose. And everyone is finding it fashionable to throw up a sign. I throw em too, I don’t know what it means, and it’s all for fucking around. Some extra asked me what I was throwing up at the party last week, and I said I don’t know. She took it so serious. And I was thinking ‘oh, so the onslaught of gang shit is real, to you.’ Everyone went from punishing their friends to doing pushups during lunch to throwing up gang signs, and running for their dear life at a party. It is nutty

And I like that everyone is going stupid dumb. But this is getting to be stupid and dumb. Because we cannot go to a party without someone shooting at it or bring a gun. And it is always these older guys, as if they can’t get into the clubs because of whatever, so they come to high school parties. However, most of the parties we go to are on the east side, I mean, there comes things we like to do in places we should not be at. But Southside parties come with a big helping of racism, and the guys are hotter on the eastside. Dangerous, but hot.

Whatever, we all went out to a party near Pioneer. And I guess we were the extras that didn’t belong, because they got all upset and started screaming n-words were flying out of their mouth. We went inside anyways to look at it, but it was, crazy and it was scary, so we left. Of course, Sour found the next spot and we ended up first, to jack in the box, then to the eastside. It was scary, but at the same time, it was like, ‘well, better than a Southside party’ the only parties that are good on the Southside are if someone parent is away and I know the host personally. Then someone has to bring trouble because they know the host, and they just bring whomever. Then there’s trouble again.

Speaking of trouble, I skipped school the other day to do a little secret business. I felt like it was going to catch up to me, but no one is going to find out, because who am I going to tell? I got to meet up with Mary from Independence but is now at SJ state, she wanted me to come with her and her friend to meet up with some guys I guess. It was nice and, I was going to see some of the track people from last year that went to school in San Francisco. We were all going to reunite and hang out.

I didn’t like how stuck up some of these weird people were. I wanted to them to relax or get a chop to the neck. They were snooty. They called San Jose ghetto, but they never left San Francisco. So I didn’t know what to say to them about that but these are Sandi’s friends and even though she goes to Mercy, they go to Drew, and I guess so about these Drew Kids. Another one went to Sacred Heart Cathedral, but she was somewhat nice. Kind of.  She was smoking cigarettes and blowing it in my face. It was rude.  The one named Sara was just rude and arrogant for no reason. I was going to ask if everything is ok, but I did not say anything.  The only thing saving that fucking group was the hot guy that drove them here. He was intense, and quiet, and that was so hot to me. He looked like he had a firm grip His name was Victor, and I did not know what school he went to, but he was hot. He had a girlfriend, which sucked, she is lucky.

These guys came and they brought a lot of alcohol, but I thought it was weird that they all wanted to be drinking in the daytime. Mary kept talking about these people. They were cute, one was 22 and one was 21. They did not go to college. They just lived in San Francisco. The haughty girl was all over the one Mary kept talking about, it was forced looking.   she was yelling while bragging about herself and I think it is important to advertise yourself. But it seemed like she was saying ‘’ha-ha, look at me” it was uncomfortable for me to look at someone do that. I don’t know anything but I know something about looking desperate. It like when I try to make myself look big and bad to look cool when I am not. It leaves me with a disgusted feeling. I wonder if that snob was doing it on purpose, or if she was actually all over that guy because she liked him too.

These guys brought three other people and it was a lot of people. There was a peevish one that kept trying to get me to drink, but I did not want to drink. He said I sucked and why was I here if I wasn’t going to be cool? I was cool but I did not want to drink. He kept trying to put his arm around me and I felt creeped out. He asked how old I was and I said seventeen. He was 20 but he looked way older than that, he was touching all on my arms and saying that I looked fit. And I said duh I play sports at school. He was trying to get me to leave to go to the store with him, but I was not going  anywhere. He was weird, he kept trying to get me to leave with him, then he would call me names and be harsh when I said no, then he would try to get me to leave all over again. I felt very uncomfortable. And I started to panic because everyone was smoking inside and I no one decided to open a window, it was really smelly and hazy.

When I step outside for air, that pervert followed me out. I was upset because I wanted to be away from him and everyone else. He offered to give me a ride home, but I told him I was all the way in San Jose. And he said he was willing to drive me there. I thought about it, but I declined at the end, because I do not know him and he was mean about me not wanting to go to the store with him.

Mary was kind of upset with me because we had to leave early because I was not feeling good, but I was not comfortable with the excessive drinking and smoking.  She told me I should of gone for that guy that was being very rude But It didn’t feel right and plus who says mean things to people that they’re saying they “like” them? He was a creepy person and I was trying to tell that to Mary, but she was not having it.

What she likes in guys and what I like in guys are two very different things, very different things.

She said I just did not understand, and do not know anything about guys.

I told her the exact same thing.