Fifteen: Queen Worth

The Nevers: Part One


I’m about ready to smack Dee for burping and blowing her reminisce of her lunch in my face. What is the point of that? That makes her so unsavory with me. She is so, unnecessary ‘live and in color’ sometimes.

Bottom-fucking-feeder (sack- of-shit) had the audacity to question why Carlo and I laugh loudly at random sometimes. I don’t question why she wears ugly ass block heels with her dresses.  She didn’t even ask me, she said it aloud as an open question. I wanted to take a picture of Anya’s face and post it all over school, as a reason why you never interrupt Anya mid-sentence.  Why was she there? No reason, no reason she felt she was able to move freely like an animal marking territory, that calf. I wanted Anya to introduce herself “Hi, I’m Anya, and these are my friends, now, who are you?”  While Jessica puts a fake microphone to her face. I wanted to bust out a notebook and start to take notes like a 1950s reporter, but she was, I think, asking me a question. But she didn’t even look at me, so I was wondering why she was asking about my actions with another person to other people. It was not making sense.

Anya did not disappoint me in her being extremely blunt when she asked her “what did that have to do with anything I was saying?” Good point, what did it have to do?  Bottom-fucking-feeder (sack-of-shit) fumbled in explaining it. That was her first warning. That didn’t stop her standing there.

“Why would someone laugh in someone’s face?” now it was a whisper? This was absolutely crazy to me that she would ask. She was trying to prove something, by asking, but she feel short. Besides, what Carlo and I do for fun is what Carlo and I do for fun.

I asked her “who are you asking?” and she did not say anything, she saw Safiya and both Beccas and left to go say hi.

That was weird, but hey, someone walking away from me while I am talking to them, Not a bad thing, anymore. I want to know whom she had to blackmail in order to get to come to prom with her. But I left it alone, just like how StuntQueen left her alone after getting what he needed at last week’s party.

Yes, word travels around fast, a little too fast, that is the difference between her and me. She’s giving hand jobs at and I am standing around, hearing about her giving said hand jobs. Ok, depending on whom you like more; one of us is doing just fine.

First period was annoying today. Queen of the Mean people, Queen Meanika Bearika. She really should learn how to shut up. Look, we have over populated this class with us. So her and her rat crew, I do not know, I don’t try to get them to like me anymore. I see Cro-Magnon has turned away all her friends, except duckmouth, but she’s one of the many exotic leeches we have at this school, the hanger-on crew is diverse around here. This is what I need to shut down right now. Duckmouth is obsessed with making sure Jessica likes her. She tried to talk about Basketball with Jessica one day. I was shocked. No, I was like “oh, brownnosing, excellent tell Jessica what you laugh about with Cro-Magnon, then tell me it is worth playing both sides.” Some people are like Hollywood executives now, Like the men that are ahead of the studios that make the movies and the TV shows Be neutral in every and all elections, because you don’t know who is going to be head of the FCC, and you don’t need any enemies when it comes to that.  We have many people like that. I get weird when people get too cool with me. It is as ‘you are great now, but I wonder what you say (or don’t say) when you hear someone talking about me behind my back.’ Many people are friends at break and enemies at lunch.

I hope many of these weird bitches get what they’re looking for next year in college.  Everyone in college says there is more freedom in college.  Put lipstick on all these pigs, they can form a new identity wherever they go.  It will take the new poor souls some time to know they’re not a beauty queen but bacon slathered in Cover Girl.

So why does Queen Meanika look pregnant? She just has a huge ass attitude with Veronica, and veronica gives her what she deserves right back. It’s not as if veronica is being attacked, veronica knows how dumb she can make her and dismiss her, and if I were Veronica, I would keep reminding her that she is stupid. I would do it every day, even on weekends. Veronica should start announcing “dammit, another A, what did you get?” as she peers at all the red marks on Queen Meanika’s paper. She should say, “Who was letting their five year old scribble on your paper with red pen…oh, no, no those are corrections.” I think the subtle digs at her intelligence as is just perfect for the morning time.

Speaking of morning time, I heard something crazy first period too. So did Titi tell JP that he was talking to Kay? Because I am sure, she already has a boyfriend already. Flirting does not equal talking. Even I know that. And I couldn’t be further away from being noticed at this school. And even I, a common girl, know that just because someone flirts with you, does not mean that they are necessarily talking to you.  If that were the case, I would be up in my elbows… in nothing still. Because no one flirts with me, but that would be like me taking one of the hot twins talking to me normally as flirting.  That is crazy. Wishful, but crazy, in real life.

My mom says we don’t know what’ can be going on in people’s life. And I don’t want to be too harsh sometimes, but sometimes, why can’t they understand what’s going on in other people life too? My mom says it does not work like that and we cannot expect people to treat us how we want to be treated. She should hold that speech for the hyenas when it comes to them needing to notice my hair and clothes. But I have to be the bigger person. I always have to be the bigger person, and that is not fair

But I honestly think there is no point in arguing with people, when the validation of others is all they have. What is sadder than that? I do not know. My hair is always a mess and, I am not as stylish as my schoolmates are, but I rather have that than be dependent on what they think, because a lot of them do not think at all. It’s actually getting pathetic that I still feel out of place. So what will be the point depending on them? I feel like sometimes, I don’t see them, and they don’t see me. They see me as what they want to see me as but not what they see me as who I actually am. They see track. But not the person in the shoes. It’s like that sometimes.

Speaking of crazy, senior trip is not happing for our class. I do not care. My family wouldn’t have money for something like that anyway. Mrs. Cariel is so mad her teeth got more crooked as she was lamenting about it. And I wanted to tell her if she wanted a senior trip so bad, she can use her travel and tourism skills to plan it, and her retired flight attendant body to get us the discounts. IF she’s not going to offer a solution, then she should stop complaining. I will never forgive her for what she said to me Sacramento Trip. So, she can stop being mad at not having an excuse to be away from her family for some high school students. We did not even care to try to plan it. We left it alone; all of us collectively said in silence there are better things to do with our time. We have established that when we did not try to plan it. So for her to be this mad, just takes the flow of the class.  Mrs. Cariel uses the money she is saving for the senior trip and sees a dentist.