Eleven: Bottom Track

March

I get that I am not the person around town, around here. I understand that people only know me because I have popular friends and track.  Otherwise, it is a time where if someone were to say my name, the other person would reply “who?” then I am described as my brother’s sister, my sport, or someone’s ugly/smelly/gross friend, something.  It is not by standalone name that they know me; I have to be doing something, or knowing someone. The way Travel and Tourism is makes it, that would be a great thing when I am a grown up, but as for now, I do not know, but I do get to know things. I do, that is luck that I have that all my friends are popular.   I’m glad that I have popular friends because I don’t have to worry about finding out things, because who else would I have to know about other than my friends?

Bottom feeder on the other hand, she needs to admit that about herself. I want her to admit that she is around because her friends are pretty and popular, and her role is the assistant of the bunch. When they have bad time with a guy or they are trying to avoid a guy, she needs to be there with their purses and napkins and ready to do their homework when they’re out dating guys. Like an assistant to a beautiful actress. I think that’s her role, but she wants to act as if she assumes the role of a fellow model and athlete. And that’s sad because that’s not her and that’s not true. She isn’t the only bottom feeder at the island or in Africa, but she’s the queen of sucking the life out of being grody and a leech. She always looks at me with a dirty look like ‘eww, what are you doing around here?’ At this point I want her best look, I want us to keep our relationship on a “fuck you” basis  Usually I would care, but I just can’t muster up the energy to care about her giving me dirty looks, and it’s always so blatant,  I always think ‘how special, she’s looking at me looking at her’.  She has always been the kind to attach herself to someone that is popular now. TagAlong does that too, but that is cheerleader business, so they can oust her in any way they please. But bottom feeder, she likes to say she’s “an athlete” every time I think about her and playing sports, or making coordinated movements with her body, I start to laugh. But it’s always at bad times, like in class, and people look at me weird.

I thought about her being on the JV team while all her friends are on varsity, and I started to laugh flamboyantly. Gavin was right behind me and he was not trying to be mean, he looked at me as if I was crazy. It did look crazy. I was just laughing by myself, and I look back, and boom, he was walking behind me, he looked like he was saying ‘ooooookkkkkkk’, and I could not do anything.   there was nothing that could of fixed how crazy l looked to Gavin.. I just said hello to him and that was it… Her lame movements have me looking like I talk to myself.  even though I do, I do not need other people knowing that.

I think everyone should play a sport or do some kind or art, any kind of art. But when bottom feeder has her athletic wear on for game days, I think. Why is she wearing that. Is there a make a wish foundation thing I’m not aware of?  Is the school going to get on TV? Then I remember that she’s a leech and she probably displayed her best at sucking to get a uniform. Too bad, it’s not what she wanted.

If the school was a stage, and there was a play. And everyone had a role. She and I would have the same role as an assistant to our friends as they go about prancing on stage.  Like in the news how the assistant had to pee in a cup for the one actor to pass his drug test. It’s like that; she would have to pee, while her boss and “friend” would go off signing autographs. Nothing wrong with that!  What is wrong is her refusal to stop acting as if she is the queen of the castle. What I would like the most is for her to stop trying to “compete” where she does not fit in.

The other day, I was hearing her talk about how annoying FratParty was, and I was thinking that she needed to slow her role.  Because there is not a difference in the level of annoyance between her and FratParty. Actually, yes there is. The major difference is there are times I don’t mind FratParty.  He’s only annoying to me when he’s being mean to me and I hear him talk about other girls in this disgusting manner. If Bottom Feeder was nice all the time to me, I still wouldn’t’ be able to stand her.  Because her being nice to someone means she’s trying to attach some sort of notoriety to her name. I wonder if her friends know that she’s more attached to them because of the kind of attention they bring, not because she likes them in any particular way. She’s just that.

It is like how the Source awards go. When a rapper wins, and 10 million people come up on stage too. She is one of the people in the back, that got there because they had to do “things in the back” to get there, and it’s not by the talent that she has, but because of the attachment she has.

At the end of the day, she’s more known than me, and if I were to say this about her aloud, everyone would be mad at me for talking shit. She can get a date to a dance, while I can’t. Her leeching has amazing benefits.

I still think she’s a bitch

Mt. Olympus #2, was really nice to me today.  I did question it, but I didn’t try to ruin it. she said I and spoke to me a little bit.  so I was so happy, that was like wow, she’s nice today, I wonder why she was so nice, but I stopped wondering because I was just happy that she was nice to me today, I felt really good about it.  I hope I can call her a friend one day, but I think she is too fancy to be my friend. I do not think she would, I do not think we would have anything to talk about. She has a cell phone and expensive jeans all the time. That is too much for me, and I don’t have a cell phone. And she’s a senior. I always see her with different boyfriends. It looks like it’s time consuming.

Holding the thought on bitches. So practice was excruciating today, The season is coming right up and for some reason, I want to do well, but It’s not going well for me. Like, nothing seems to be going well for me. I kept making mistakes at practice and it’s the kind of mistakes you make when you never ran in your life. It’ was just hard doing it, it was hard going and it was hard leaving. I wish I had a different body at this time, a body that was fast and strong and being able to jump. I want to go at least 19 feet this year, at the minimum. I really am going to try for state.

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