I find it…distasteful; when I am criticized for something, I say or do. Then, no more than an hour or so later, someone else does or says the EXACT same thing and everyone around thinks they are poppin’. I side eye, while standing there like ‘Oh, ok. So, when I was being myself like everyone craves I do, I’m being Douche bag Debbie, but here we have someone who clearly can’t keep half a mind to be themselves, parroting me, and y’all want to give this trick an award for facing the odds?’ Like, Fuck out of here. My knees cannot handle being caught up in the matrix like this. I cannot do that dance. I’m sure you were told, through song, that people don’t dance no more.
I really wonder about subtle bias sometimes. However, it is like, well, if I say something I know I am going to get the vernacular backpedal or the “I didn’t/do say that” (I need to start carrying a recorder) as if the person just got the divine touch of the amnesia. Certainty, I want to just slap them right there, then I remember that it will be assault charge that I cannot afford.
Bias, like the devil, is a lie. It is hard not to commit bias because we are conditioned to an extent to move about, as we know what is best. We live with our perceptions being THE universal truths–Whether they actually apply to the situation or not– no exceptions, no excuses. I can ‘t, (and I’m sure you can’t as well) count how many time someone tried to shape you in their image, by giving you hackneyed advice on how you can feel WAY BETTER about your own, personal situation by being more like them. You know, less real, more designed by committee. I emphasize ‘personal’ to let you know that kind of dreadful advice is given when someone wants to sweep your porch, without cleaning his or her house.
I do not get how someone can commit that kind of sin, then cry foul when someone else does it to him or her, it’s like, ‘ohhhhhhhhh, karma only tags one way huh? Since when did Jesus come back and told you the game changed? I am sure it does not, and he did not, so suck it up.’ We all do unnerving things. Nonetheless, this slash and dash is too much for me because it is like, I am not sure how they want me to present myself, but I can do a great impersonation of ME. I have been working on it for the past 1223 years.
There are times I want to revolt; I really want to ask, “Why am I scolded for being myself?” mainly, why it’s so annoying to me, is the same ones who have the most to say about how I handle myself and thoughts in public, are the ones that expect me to stand up for them. On the other hand, have pen and paper ready to heed my advice.
While I’m dishing out wisdom like hot plates, I always thing to myself, well, it seems like when I am lazily coming around to the party, I am too late to join the fun. All the same, when you need me to Grandmother Willow you a song about listening to the trees, now you find renewed spirituality in my singing. Interesting.
Either way, it is all very, very lame. No one giving me the producer’s credit and I am tired of ghostwriting.
I see the whole system as, crazy, cool, trendy, tacky, repeat. In that order.
I rather stay crazy because once something becomes trendy, it is on its way to being tacky. And you know, fuck that, tacky will never make it as a star.
The moral of the story is, making someone feel bad for not meeting a certain social standard using personal biases, as the main metric will always been tacky to me. Yet, everyone seems to find it trendy. Because I never hear, anyone stand up against it.
Things that make me wonder….